Turning Wedding Woes into Wedding Wows

Turning-Wedding-Woes-into-Wedding-Wows-04Remember when you stood at the altar and recited your wedding vows before God, your family, and friends?

Through the grace and power of the Holy Spirit, my love will remain unwavering, in plenty and in want, in joy and in sorrow, in sickness and in health, in times of blessing and trial. I promise to love, respect, honor, and trust you. I will openly and honestly share my heart with you. I will put your needs before my own. I will serve the Lord and you with much joy!

Now that you’ve been married a while, how are you doing with those promises? Have your wedding vows slowly deteriorated into wedding woes, perhaps like these?

Husband

I promise to love you as long as you meet my conditions. I promise to show little interest in understanding your needs, your expectations, or your emotions. During times of blessing, I will spend money on the treasures I want.

During times of trial, you will work more and complain less. Promise you’ll stop asking me to pray with you or become involved at church. Plan your sickness around my schedule and promise that the laundry will be done, the house will be clean, and meals will be prepared before you lay down from exhaustion. Be available for me and my schedule at all times. I promise to never leave you as long as you stay healthy, look young, remain sexually pleasing, and never become too needy.

Wife

I promise to respect you if you deserve it. I promise to keep a record of everything you do wrong and use it against you when we argue. I promise to spend money randomly and create financial pressure. I promise to remind you daily of my expectations, especially when you fail to meet them. I will say “you never” or “you always” when I communicate my dissatisfaction. I promise to get my way by manipulating and controlling. I promise to stay with you, as long as I want to stay.

If these woeful vows describe the reality your marriage, don’t despair—there’s hope for rusting relationships! Make a new commitment to God and embrace the power of the Cross together. [tweetable]By replacing rust with trust, God can give you a revitalized marriage from this day forward.[/tweetable]

Here’s how to begin:

  1. Take personal responsibility and repent before the Lord for all your selfishness and neglect.

    Wash me thoroughly from my iniquity, and cleanse me from my sin. For I acknowledge my transgressions, and my sin is always before me. Against You, You only, have I sinned, and done this evil in Your sight. (Psalm 51:2–3)

  2. Ask your spouse for forgiveness for specific unkindnesses you have shown over the years. After acknowledging your own sin and extending forgiveness to one another, remember that love keeps no record of wrongs.

    And be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God in Christ forgave you. (Ephesians 4:32)

  3. Recite these biblical vows of recommitment to each other, and personalize each one. For example, “My love for you will be patient and kind.”

    Love is patient and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not puffed up; does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil; does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. (1 Corinthians 13:4–7)

  4. Ask God to fill you with the Holy Spirit and submit fully to His Lordship. Study Ephesians 5 together, one verse each day, for the next month.

    But thanks be to God, who gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ.
    (1 Corinthians 15:57)

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